Why Family Retreat Matters for Special Needs Families
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
For Eric and Melissa, parents of three beautiful children, Sophia (12), Will (9), and Lily (6) disability has led their family on an uphill path. When Sophia was two years old and still not walking, doctors diagnosed her with low muscle tone and ataxia, which affected her balance.
Eventually, doctors concluded that Sophia had experienced low oxygen at birth, not a degenerative condition. As her development progressed, new challenges emerged. At age 10, Sophia was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder—an explanation for years of behavioral struggles and a doorway to new sources and opportunities for help.
With Lily’s birth came fresh joy and new uncertainty. Eric and Melissa were told that she had a 50% chance of being born with Down syndrome. As they recall:
“We just put her in the Lord’s hands, knowing that we’d soon enough get to meet our little girl… When she was born and we knew right away, with her beautiful almond-shaped eyes, that she had Down syndrome. Then at the age of five, Lily was also found to be on the autism spectrum.”
Diagnoses, Uncertainties, and a Flood of Emotions
Today, Eric and Melissa live with clear diagnoses for both of their daughters. They are also on a waitlist to have Will tested for autism, and coping with steep emotional highs and lows. Melissa shares a window into the feelings she has weathered:
“It’s just a flood of emotions to get a diagnosis. On one hand there was a sense of relief with the autism diagnoses, like ‘I’m not crazy’ for thinking these behaviors are not typical and just having something clear to name it by and get help with.
On the other hand, it just brings to a head the mourning over your child having these extra challenges. With the autism diagnoses, it was a more gradual realization and kind of starting to deal with the ramifications. But with Lily’s diagnosis of Down syndrome, it really hit like a ton of bricks.
It instantly shattered the preconceived dreams we had for our daughter. Some of this was selfishness in not wanting the pressures and sacrifices it would put on our family. And some of it was knowing her life would have extra challenges and not wanting that for her.”
The Weight of Everyday Life
Navigating life with multiple disabilities affects every part of Eric and Melissa’s family, from parenting decisions and routines to social connections and emotional resilience.
“It increases the mental and emotional load in ways that are hard to explain. It can be overwhelming, trying to learn strategies for each child’s different needs.”
Their friendships and church relationships have suffered. Many of their peers’ connections are built around children’s activities—an area where their family often feels out of place.
“It’s isolating. You feel like you’re constantly apologizing for your child’s behaviors or explaining their needs.”
God hasn’t forgotten us…”
Everything changed when Eric and Melissa discovered Joni and Friends Family Retreat in Missouri. They attended their first retreat in 2023 and returned for two more in 2024!
“We were drowning. We needed to come up for air. Family Retreat gave us that space to breathe.”
The retreat offered something their family hadn’t experienced in a long time: true community, acceptance, and rest. At Joni and Friends, they didn’t have to apologize. Their children were welcomed and loved. They found other parents who understood, and volunteers who gave sacrificially just to serve. As Eric said:
“I was at a loss for words… Why would people give up their time and money to serve families like ours? It was humbling. It was life-giving. It reminded us that God hasn’t forgotten us. He continues to love us—and he’s showing that love through his people.”
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
Family Retreat has allowed Eric and Melissa to step away from the grind of everyday life and get a break to focus on Jesus and on their family, not just survival!
“It’s just a wonderful time to connect with God, connect as a family, and connect with others dealing with disability in their families. It’s so important that we are reminded at Family Retreat that God is near and he doesn’t waste anything, even the hardest things and the ugliest scars we carry…
I’m so encouraged in my faith when I hear other people’s stories of how the Lord has worked in their life, or when I look around the room as we’re all praising the Lord, thinking about each one’s story where they too can say, ‘yet I will still praise him’.”
Melissa
Eric and Melissa also have a message for all those who make Family Retreat possible. Here it is!
“We are so thankful for the supporters and volunteers of Joni and Friends who make this all possible. We really don’t know where we’d be without the ministry of Joni and Friends through Family Retreats. Those five days really help us so much to make it through the other 360 so that we can continually lean on Christ in the midst of our struggle.”
Eric and Melissa
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Your gift to Joni and Friends will promote Christ-centered friendships and create spaces of true belonging for people living with disability. Learn more about Joni and Friends Missouri.
