Owe Only Love

“Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed. Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.”

Romans 13:7-8 (ESV)

Over a period of several years, I lived fearful that my disability was making Ken depressed. Before he came home from work, I would quickly finish as many routines as I could with the help of a friend. Otherwise, I felt as though I were walking on eggshells if I asked Ken to do anything for me. Asking for too much help from him would plummet him into depression.

For a long time, we both played this strange dance, tiptoeing around each other and negotiating the awkward spaces of my limitations. We both knew we were doing this, and it felt awful. We realized that this was not the way to live. And so, we agreed to pray. We prayed both together and separately. We asked God to help move us beyond the emotional fog we lived in. We asked him to help us see the possibilities for our marriage.

I also began earnestly seeking ways I could be in Ken’s corner, championing him and affirming his character qualities. I encouraged him to spend time with his Christian guy friends, and I looked for ways to build him up so that the constant disability routines would not strip away everything he had.

I made it my goal to be Ken’s biggest supporter.

And now?  I know Ken loves me because he likes me. He wants to be with me. I’m “home” for him. When I’m in another room, Ken brings whatever he’s working on to sit with me. He chooses me, wants to be with me… in spite of all that “me” includes.

Ken and I were committed to keeping God’s law to honor, respect, and love one another, like it says in today’s verse. That commitment to fulfilling God’s law has brought such sweetness to our marriage.

Pray with me: Lord, forgive me for the times when I live in debt, owing others respect, honor, and love. When I struggle to love as you would have me love, remind me that genuine love always involves sacrifice. And sometimes, even suffering.