Joni and Ken
Hi, I’m Joni, and all week long, I’m talking about inspiring marriages.
And I can’t talk about marriage, without mentioning my life with Ken Tada. We’ve been married more than 35 years, and all of that time with my quadriplegia. Yes, we have had our fair share of depression and great difficulties, but overall? What a guy! I remember several months ago when I was ready to go to work, but I just could not bring myself to wheel out the front door into the van. I was in such pain, and the morning had barely begun. For a long moment I sat there in my wheelchair front of the open door. The air was so fresh outside, and I thought, ‘Oh God, If only I could feel as fresh.’
After more than five decades of quadriplegia, I’m tired. Please don’t think I’m a veteran or a professional when it comes to living in a wheelchair. I’m not an expert. My bones are weary and thin from battling chronic pain, the occasional pressure sore, infections and, yes, cancer. My question is never “Why, God?” It’s most often “How, God?” How do I keep on going? How do I care about others when I’m consumed with my own physical challenges? How can I be kind and civil when pain keeps distracting me? How can I find the strength to face this day?
That morning, as I sat in front of the open door, Ken saw that look in my eyes. He said, “Why aren’t you out by the van?” Staring at the splendorous morning beyond the door, I could only sigh. And that’s when he said, “You wait here. I know exactly what you need.” In an instant, Ken was back from the kitchen with a yellow post-it note. With a thick felt-tipped pen, he had penned on it the letter ‘C’ — a real big ‘C’. I gave him an odd look. He said to me, “It stands for Courage, the courage of Christ. I can see it in your eyes, Joni, and you can do this. I know you can!” With that, he pressed the post-it on my shirt, right above my heart.
I glanced at it, and then up at him. I can’t explain what happened next, but suddenly grace flooded my heart. His note was a means of grace, like some holy sacrament through which God was increasing faith inside us. And it felt so liberating.
I couldn’t help it; my eyes became wet. “Thank you,” I whispered to my husband, and I lifted my arm to give him a hug. He wiped my nose, kissed my cheek, and said to me, “Now Joni let’s get this day going.” I then wheeled out into the morning feeling a fresh wave of strength from my Savior. I tell you, those are the moments when a marriage grows strong. And it happens when a spouse gives solid words of affirmation. It’s like what Proverbs 18:21, is all about when it says: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Ken only said a few words, and probably without giving them much thought, but those words were brimming with power and life. His was a pronouncement over me, a declaration of the good hat he saw in me — or at least the good he wanted to see. And God gave me His amazing grace to rise to the occasion.
Oh, friend, it’s a hard world. Even the best of Christians are feeling the weight of weariness. Little wonder we are to (as it says in Hebrews Chapter 3) “Encourage one another daily.” So do that with your spouse today, would you? And if you need a little help, stop by joniandfriends.org/radio and pick up your free copy of “Living by Vows.” And don’t forget to give solid words of affirmation to the people you’ll see today. You have the capacity to help change their countenance and character. And the best word to use? The Word made flesh, Jesus Christ; He who always has courageous words of life.
© Joni and Friends
To learn more about Joni & Ken’s marriage, checkout their book “Joni and Ken: An Untold Love Story.”
