The Love of Jesus Holds Our Marriage Together
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Ecclesiastes 4:12
More than four decades have passed since Ken and I began our married life in 1982. And as we celebrate our wedding anniversary on July 3, I marvel at the fact that God has used every trial—every hurt and heartache—on our journey together to entwine us far more intimately together than we ever dreamed of on the day we got married.
It isn’t easy taking care of me, a quadriplegic who deals daily with pain. But it’s the pain and the problems associated with my quadriplegia that have bound Ken and me together, just like that verse in Ecclesiastes that says two are better than one.
A Cord of Three Strands
Here’s the thing: the more devastating the trials, the more God has wrapped us both around himself. God has used depression, chronic pain, and cancer—even far more than quadriplegia—to bind us together tighter than ever… to each other and to him.
That’s the “cord of three strands” that Ecclesiastes speaks about: husband, wife, and the Lord Jesus. If the man and woman twine their lives around each other in marriage, that’s good, and they’ll be stronger for it. But if both husband and wife twine themselves around Jesus Christ, that’s best of all. Because that’s a union that will hold through whatever life—or whatever hell—might throw at them.
The cord of three strands paints a beautiful picture, yet Ken and I are very aware that it isn’t true for every marriage. It’s especially difficult for couples dealing with disability. So many of those marriages just don’t survive the test because we live in a society that doesn’t know what to do with suffering. We do everything we can think of to escape it. We medicate it, mask it, surgically remove it, drug it, institutionalize it, divorce it, or even euthanize it—anything but live with it.
Suffering isn’t about to go away. And marriage only magnifies it. So, what can we do?
Trusting God Through Life (and Marriage) with Disability
Ken and I know we must lean on Jesus together, trusting him with our daily and long-term challenges. It’s why we make it a priority to live out Hebrews 10:24, always thinking of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. We spur each other on in memorizing Scripture, and we read the Bible together each year. And you can join us in thriving on God’s Word with our daily Bible reading plan!
In the thick of life’s trials and storms, all families and couples—especially those navigating disability—need to experience the love of Jesus in community. That’s why Joni and Friends offers Marriage Getaways, Family Retreats, Warrior Getaways, and respite events. We’re committed to strengthening marriages, strengthening families, and strengthening faith in the Lord Jesus.
A Hopeful Picture
Friend, I want to encourage you today—in your marriage, your family, and your life. May you find strong hope and encouragement in knowing that, well, there’s a quadriplegic and her husband who are entwined around Jesus. So, take a deep breath and know that your struggles, however fierce they may be, are only temporary. Life will not always be this hard, or marriage so difficult. There is coming a Day when something so glorious will appear, that it will supersede even the best marriage.
What do I mean? Just look at this photo, snapped the moment the church doors swung open on July 3, 1982, to make way for me to wheel down the aisle. I was so nervous, but as soon as I saw Ken up front standing tall with a big smile, all my worrying disappeared. I just couldn’t wait to join him at the altar.
Maybe that moment was a little foretaste of what it will be like when we, the Bride of Christ, catch our first glimpse of our Savior. The waiting will be over. Our pain and trials will end, and we shall forever be with the Lord.
So friend, hold fast to Jesus and take heart!
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33
-Joni Eareckson Tada
Read More About Joni and Ken’s Story
After 30 years of marriage, Ken and Joni offer readers a rare and candid account of their journey through quadriplegia, depression, pain, and cancer – and reveal a hope founded on God’s grace alone. Let their story inspire and encourage your own life and marriage!
