When We’re All Grown Up: A Biblical Look at Spiritual Growth

Remember how it was? We couldn’t wait to grow up. From seven years old to seventeen we felt a mounting frustration inside that we could never experience life, never resolve all our problems, in a word, never be complete until we were all grown up. In response to our immature behavior, friends would scold us, “Grow up will ya!” Although these words stung a little, we embraced the truth behind them-growing up could solve our problems and make our dreams come true.

We can think of our Christian growth that same way. We live between the challenge, “Grow up, will ya” and the affirmation, “You’re all grown up.” Our growth hangs in a mysterious tension: on the one side, we are already mature. God sees us as spiritually full-grown through Christ’s work on the cross (Eph. 2:15). In His eyes, we are like Jesus right now. In fact, God could not fellowship with us or even look upon us unless we were perfectly righteous in His sight. Although we may not feel like it—particularly when we sin—God sees us as all grown up.

On the other side, we are growing up to become more like Jesus every day (Eph. 4:24). This refining process can be difficult, even disheartening. In the Bible’s picture language, we engage in the spiritual battles (2 Cor. 10:3-4), pay the high price (Luke 14:28), and daily offer our bodies as spiritual sacrifices (Rom. 12:1-2). The imagery reminds us that becoming Christ-like won’t be easy. What is more, it will take an entire lifetime. Meanwhile, God will shape us like little lumps of clay into a beautiful masterpiece–His handiwork. And He will fire His vessel in the kilns of suffering. Finally, Jesus will bring this refining process to a close in an instant when He returns. At that time, He will complete our spiritual growth for all eternity (1 John 3:2). This is what our growth will be like. But what will we do differently?

When we are all grown up, we will finally do the right thing without a struggle. That’s because we will want to do what Jesus would–submit unreservedly to the will of our Heavenly Father. Our good works will become perfect works. But strange enough, this will include resigning ourselves to suffering. Although hard to imagine, we will receive even the most difficult testing as a love gift from God’s tender hand. We all cringe in the face of trials. Rightly so. Suffering hurts. It is a result of sin entering this world. We are supposed to dread it. But in heavenly hindsight we will view and experience suffering as one of God’s most effective tools for shaping our lives. To submit willingly to it will be one of our most mature decisions. But along with this, our attention will turn to others’ suffering. God will heighten our sensitivity to the needs of others. And receiving appreciation in return for our kind acts won’t matter.

What we will be and do when we are all grown up are critical matters. But so will what we feel. We live in the hope of heaven and all that will come with it. We anticipate it a little bit like children waiting for Christmas! In fact, we may be a little embarrassed to ask one last question about our maturity because it sounds self-focused, even self-indulgent. But because God wants us to live in confident expectation of heaven we should ask, “What will it feel like to be all grown up,” that is, “what will the experience be like for us?”

When we’re all grown up we will feel perfect in every way. God will fulfill promises far beyond our imagination such as “I will wipe away every tear from every eye” (Rev. 21:4) and “I will put a new song in your hearts” (Rev. 5:9). Commitments like these assure us that God will one day deliver us from pain and sadness of all sorts: we will never again feel our legs buckle under a load of responsibility; money struggles will no longer burden us; God Himself will end our loneliness as we walk in unbroken fellowship with Him; we who are sick or disabled will experience relief perhaps for the first time in our lives; those of us plagued by guilt from past wrong-doing will finally feel perfect forgiveness; all who live with unbridled stress will relax and rest at last; and many of us will find the approval and acceptance we have longed for all of our earthly lives. In short, God will perfectly and completely meet our every need, desire, and longing at last and for all eternity. His healing hand will touch every area of our lives that cries out for relief. Our sadness and pain will turn to joy and pleasure. Growing up in Christ will feel perfect.

But as mature believers we will desire more than relief. We will long for Jesus, just Jesus and what pleases Him. This is our loftiest goal for maturity. But how can we attain it? We might start by asking why those who long for the Lord more than others of us also seem to suffer most? Isn’t it because God is perfecting all of us according to His wisdom, which often requires hardship?

 As confusing as it may sound, the godliest Christians might be the most stricken, undesirable, even rejected. We can easily look in the wrong places for examples of Christian maturity. For instance, we might focus on people who have achieved success and wealth and enjoy good health assuming that their attainments are God’s rewards for maturity. Maybe so, but the opposite is often the case. We may have to go to the afflicted and downtrodden of this world: Christians in a burn unit or a cancer ward; a missionary wife whose children die in a secluded jungle or whose husband is killed in a hostage situation. Yes, we may have to look at homeless, penniless, seemingly lifeless saints to find examples of maturity as God defines it. This may be difficult for us to accept. Success simply doesn’t look like that, at least not the way we usually think of it. But godly growth is not measured by success. What is more, we can lay absolutely no claim to attaining maturity apart from God.

What will trials and suffering ultimately produce in us? When we’re all grown up, we will never again focus on ourselves and our interests; we will be ourselves seeking others’ interests. Paradoxically, we will experience what we have sought all our life–joy beyond our wildest dreams. Then, we’ll know that we’re all grown up.

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Written By—Dave Deuel, PhD

Dave Deuel is married with four adult children, one daughter has Down syndrome. He also has a sister-in-law who has an intellectual disability. He is Academic Dean Emeritus for the Master’s Academy International, Senior Research Fellow Emeritus and Strategic Alliance SME for the Joni Eareckson Tada Disability Research Center, and Catalyst for the Disability Concerns Issue Network, the Lausanne Movement.

He served as Old Testament professor and department chairman at the Master’s Seminary for 10 years and in pastoral roles of local churches, five of which were church plants. He is currently elder for pulpit and interim pastor for area local churches in upstate New York.