My Ballast  

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

With another big birthday just a few days away, I’m proving those doctors wrong who said years ago, “She’ll never make it into her 70s!” Well, here I am, about to celebrate my 74^th birthday! Yet as amazing as that is, I am aware that the mid-70s come with a few problems that cause anxiety. I’ll hear someone talking about their osteoporosis and their bone mineral density score, and I start thinking about the possibility that I will break one of my already-fragile bones. I become fixated on concern over breaking my femur and I haven’t even stubbed my toe! 

Or I can become anxious about my compromised lungs. And there are always concerns about my kidneys, given that I’ve worn a catheter for decades. Whether it’s nasty bugs that could harm my lungs or my kidneys, I have to constantly fight off anxiety. 

So, I keep in mind words from Eugene Peterson: “All the water in all the oceans cannot sink a ship unless it gets inside. Nor can all the trouble in the world harm us unless it gets within us.” (A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society, 43.)  

I know that no matter my health concerns, I must not let troubled thoughts creep inside me. I’m safe as long as I do not let fear or worry sink my heart, submerge my peace of mind, or plunge my joy into a flood of despair.  

To keep with the analogy, I like to think of Jesus as the ballast in my ship. Ballast is heavy material placed low in a ship’s hold to give stability and prevent the ship from tipping in a storm and taking on water. With Jesus as my ballast, I’m saying that when I trust that he is residing deep in my heart, he gives my life stability. This way, no amount of fear or anxiety can submerge me. As long as Jesus is the ballast; that is, the weight down deep in my ship, I am safe from the storms of worry! 

Jesus, thank you that I can take heart knowing that you have overcome the world. With you, no matter the trouble that threatens to sink me, I can have peace. Place deep within me courage straight from you, alongside hope and lasting confidence in you. Keep me from letting worry fill my heart as I set my course straight for heaven’s horizon.