Marriage Without Illusions

By Joni Eareckson Tada|Published On: July 3, 2023|Categories: Daily Devotional|

Close up of a man and a woman holding hands with their wedding rings on on their wedding day.

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled…”
Hebrews 13:4 (ESV)

When word spread that Ken was going to marry me, a quadriplegic, a few friends had quiet concerns. So, in the months before our wedding, several encouraged us to “go away for a weekend” to test out what married life might be like with a disability. A few even suggested we take several weekends to “try it out” before committing to marriage. They thought it would be wise to see if Ken could handle it.

Ken and I decided we weren’t going to violate our moral convictions. There would be no experimenting. We came into marriage with our consciences tender and intact. We vowed, saying: “I do, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health,” without knowing, really knowing, how challenging it would be. We were holding marriage in honor, wanting the marriage bed to be undefiled like it says in Hebrews 13:4.

It meant that our honeymoon was a little like disability awareness week for Ken, and some of the realities of caring for my needs were anything but romantic. I wanted my new husband to be enamored with me, his new bride; for our honeymoon to be perfect. That’s not how things went. We weren’t two days into our honeymoon, and I recall lying in bed, fighting back tears, crying out, “Oh, God! You are going to have to give Ken grace. You just have to help him.”

Now, more than four decades later, I can confidently say that God answered my prayer. God’s grace has showed up in my husband’s life, time and time again, especially as we faced even greater hurdles than a honeymoon that didn’t go according to plan.

No doubt today you are facing circumstances that aren’t going as you hoped, and perhaps illusions of perfection are long gone. Please call out to God to help you through. And he will.

Pray with Me: God, I thank you for your grace that is sufficient for me even in all of my brokenness, weakness, and imperfection. Thank you for the way you designed marriage to be a safe haven for intimacy within commitment. Remind us to always seek your ever-present help when we are overwhelmed by our total inability to live in our own strength.