Bread of Life
Hi, I’m Joni and some mothers make raising a special-needs child look easy. I have one such mother in the studio today, Shauna Amick, who also works here at Joni and Friends. Shauna, welcome to the program.
SHAUNA: Thank you Joni.
JONI: You are mother of a daughter with severe disabilities and you make it look easy. I mean, Sarah has Down syndrome, some very challenging behavioral issues, speech delays, and yet every time I see you guys you have this big smile on your face. Like, what’s all that about?
SHAUNA: Well you know the answer is the joy of the Lord, Joni. But to not sugar coat things, I want to make sure I tell you that the reason I can have such a positive attitude now when Sarah’s a teenager, is because Jesus transformed my very negative attitude I had when she was a brand-new baby.
JONI: Okay, a negative attitude toward your own newborn baby. What does that look like?
SHAUNA: Well, if I want to be completely transparent with you I’ll say it was pretty ugly, Joni. When I found out that Sarah was going to have Down syndrome and a heart defect and a slew of other genetic abnormalities I was four months pregnant with her, and starting the very next day after that prenatal diagnosis I was standing with the Word of God just quoting words from Matthew chapter 7 that says, “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds, and to everyone who knocks the door will be opened.” Joni, I knocked on Jesus’ door every day, I pounded on His door and I begged Him that my baby would not have disabilities when she was born. Well, the second part of that same scripture goes on to say, “You parents – if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him.”
JONI: You know, I can see why you would cling to that verse thinking, ‘Of course, God is going to do a good thing. My baby will be born without disabilities.’ But your baby was not; your baby was born with a heart defect, challenging behavior issues, as I said, Down syndrome.
SHAUNA: Yes, and for the first three months of Sarah’s life I almost couldn’t even go to God to ask him why. I mean I certainly was clinging to the Word and was talking to the Lord in prayer, but I never was able to get to that one question about why Lord, why did you give me this stone when I was asking for bread?
JONI: So, what happened? Where was the transformation?
SHAUNA: Well, when Sarah was three months old she was finally stable enough for us to bring her home from the hospital and I determined, stubbornly in my heart, that I wasn’t bringing my daughter home until Jesus answered that question: Why Lord, why did you give me a stone when I begged you for bread? And in that moment of desperation, Joni, Jesus, the Bread of Life, answered me and I knew then and I knew without any doubt whatsoever I was wrong; all those months of Sarah in the intensive care unit in the hospital. God had given me Bread; Sarah was not stone, she was a beautiful little bundle of Bread and she was going to transform our lives in beautiful ways that we could never have imagined.
The Lord changed my outlook when Sarah was three months old, and that has sustained me every day all these years for 13 years. She is a 13-year-old teenager now, Joni, and she remains a beautiful “loaf of bread’ in the eyes of the Lord.
JONI: Oh my goodness. Well I think all of us have a perspective of the Lord. When we look at your daughter we see joy; we see happiness; we see hands down, slam dunk contentment and fun and a love for you and her daddy that is just contagious. Shauna, thank you for this perspective on “Bread and Stones”, and thank you most of all thank you for your vulnerability today.
SHAUNA: Thank you Joni.
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