Affirming Your Caregiver
Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada and I love caregivers!
And I better had love them ‘cause I’ve got one in my husband Ken, not to mention the girls who give of their time to help me lay down at night or get me ready to sit up in my wheelchair every morning. I love them all, and of course I especially love and appreciate my husband Ken Tada – that’s my term of affection for him, Ken Tada. And I tell you what I love doing: I enjoy affirming each and every one who helps me. And I don’t mean empty flattery or compliments that aren’t sincere. Let’s say, when I give affirmations to my husband, I don’t mean saying sweet things to manipulate him to do what I want him to do. No, affirmations go far deeper than that. I think to affirm someone is a skill; it’s a skill that Ephesians, Chapter 1 talks about when Paul prays that the eyes of our heart might be opened. It’s the skill of opening up your eyes to see Christ-like characteristics in the life of another, and then nurturing those characteristics with your words of encouragement.
And boy, my husband so deserves affirmation; he thrives on it; (actually, anyone thrives on it, right)? When other people observe their honest to goodness godly qualities. Ken works hard to take care of me. For instance, most often at night (and I will try to say this without crying), he has to get up sometimes two or three times to turn me. My paralysis won’t allow me to stay in one position in bed too long; it just hurts too much, and it can cause pressure sores. So Ken gets up and makes certain (sometimes he sets his watch) to come over, pull back my blankets, put me on my other side and re-tuck my pillows. To me, that is the kind of sacrificial service that honors God; it not only helps me but it honors God. It’s the kind of service that so many caregivers provide to their family members, often losing sleep; often going without a break to make certain their loved-one is served well.
So even in the middle of the night, (it could be 4 AM), I’m always certain to be awake enough to say “thank you, Ken and I love you.” When he comes back from the medical supply store with stuff, I commend him: Thank you Ken for making the extra effort, always I do express sincere gratitude. I will brag on him in front of others. I’ll look for times when he’s compassionate toward others or mindful of doing the right thing, and I will acknowledge that to him, I’ll thank him for honoring God that way, ‘Ken, you so bring God pleasure when you do that.’ It’s just second nature for me. Best of all, I try to give him lots of breaks, arranging for a girlfriend to occasionally stay overnight with me, or asking girls to help me out so Ken can go fishing.
If you’d like to hear more on this, you’ve got to watch a short but powerful video of my stroke-surviving friend Katherine Wolf. She has a husband and she talks about this so much better than I do. So, visit joniradio.org today and hear what she has to say from her wheelchair about helping caregivers and affirming them. And then share her video – for that matter, share this program with any of your Facebook friends who have a disability in their family. And please, give Katherine Wolf a minute of your time at joniradio.org; she’s got so much to say! And while you’re on my page, I’m posting a special article today (I’ll have it up all weekend) I’ve written called “Oh, to Be a Burden.” It’s an article to help families understand God’s calling for us to take care of one another in a family, especially when there’s an injury or illness. When you feel burdened, oh my goodness, you know what, that could be God’s will. Download it today at joniradio.org. And finally, do what you can to affirm your spouse; to encourage your friends who help you. The Bible says words of affirmation are like apples of gold.
© Joni and Friends
